Patience is a Virtue...

...that I don't have.

I've started to realize how impatient and frustated I have been getting. I have always been one to get annoyed quickly when people are late or things are not done quickly. (Not that I am always on time. I don't know when it started, but I started to plan on being late because everyone else is and I hate waiting with a passion). But these days, it's ten-fold. I can't stand running errands because I don't want to wait in line. I hate valet parking all the time (a normalcy in LA) because I don't want to wait for the car. I hate work because I can never finish my things waiting on other people. I reflected on the reasons why I have been feeling this urgency all the time. I came to the conclusion that I am not less impatient, but I am slower to adapt to my surroundings than ever before.

After taking many many courses in my undergrad and masters on 'adapting to change' in a corporate environment and management skills necessary to incorporate change (blahblahblah), I finally realize why it's so hard to implement process improvements in the work place. As you get older, you really do start hating change.

Ok I digress. That last little thought has nothing to do what I am talking about. Just making a point that I am getting a little older. I just can't welcome new things into my life as well as I did before.

The westcoast lifestyle is so much more relaxed than the east coast. I am being nice when i say relaxed. cause really I just want to say slow and lazy. I am actually the one that needs to relax and I just can't. If you go to the store, the cashiers are slow and chit chat a lot with their coworkers or people in line making your wait time even longer. One guy at the gas station was on the phone...an obvious unimportant conversation with his friend...and he told me to wait! The customer! ummm...interesting. I cannot say that I was not annoyed. I walked into a restaurant/bar to get something and the two employees there were just talking to each other in an empty restaurant and not asking if I needed any help while I was blatantly standing in front of them staring. Seriously? Come on! Everyone loves to small talk too. Wherever you go. Opening the door for you, standing in the elevator, standing in line. I H A T E small talk. I don't care about your life and I'm pretty darn sure you don't care about mine. I will never see you again, I don't need to know your favorite color. (This is so un-christianly. Please pray for me. no joke). This type of attitude also flows into my work as well. But I won't divulge on those details. All I have to say is...where is the work ethic!? Is it just me? I always feel like I am in a rush. And since everything around me is even slower, I feel even more rushed and get even more frustrated.

I am a lazy person. Which is a bad trait. Is that even a trait? I won't pick up the shirt on the floor, unless it's cleaning day. I won't wash the dishes until there is at least 10 dishes in the sink. I like to sit on the couch and watch TV. But when it comes to work I am spot on and always meet deadlines no matter what. I don't complain to my bosses and never ask for an extension. I also expect the same from everyone else when it comes to their job, even those in the service industry. Only because the way you live your life is your own. The way you do your job always affects other people, whether it's negative or positive.

People here just take life as it comes. They enjoy chatting strangers up. Speed, or time for that matter, is not really an issue. Will I ever be able to get used to this? Probably not. But I need to just calm down and accept this new lifestyle or I will give myself another ulcer.

God...please give me patience. I need it.